Friday, May 27, 2011

Time Crunch

Today seems to be moving at a snails pace I am trying to dig up money for the foundation filing fee's and its very slow going, if you haven't been keeping up with the foundation updates I'll recap a little!

My mother Died from Cervical cancer back in Oct of 2001, its been nearly 10 years, and the breakthroughs in cancer treatments have been minimal in that time.
My sister Lipshun & I along with Big boy Started Brainstorming on how we can effect more change in that area. I decided I wanted to start a Charity, One that contributes to Cancer research, but also helps patients in treatment and their families in financial need! I immediately got the support of both of them, Lipshun and I have been brainstorming for a while, I have been reaching out to lawyers and accountants for help, and we have got some major feedback, in fact they are both working for the foundation pro bono without even having our incorporation filed yet!

Here lies the problem, The incorporation and filing to be recognized as a NYS charitable organization costs about $330.00
then to get 501 tax exemption costs about $750.00, these are standard filing fee's we cant get around!

Both Lipshun and I are in single income houses, so our money contributions are minimal, and we have had a few friends offer with help once we are up and running ( which is amazing!) but only a couple offers to help with the fee's. ( thank you to the couple who have offered it means more then you know!) so we are a little less then halfway to the fee's total!

So I am digging, like seriously digging, If I Had the money I would pay for out outright and not even bother asking anyone until they are able to write it off on their taxes! BUT I haven't worked in over a year, my soccer paycheck is not substantial by any means, And I am already using ALL of ittowards the foundation!

So I have been wracking my brain on how to come up with the rest of the fee's before the middle of next week, I am determined to get this filed by next week, I want us to be able to accept contributions by the end of the summer! I am now off to roll ALL of the change I have in my house, and hope I get some more e-mails or phone calls! Crossing my fingers we'll get some more offers to help!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Quick Foundation Update


Well, with an update on the foundation, we got some amazing news yesterday! We had a meeting with our lawyer who has offered to donate his time and services to the cause, also we received a call from our accountant with the same message to us.

Unfortunately we still need to come up with the filing fee's for the state for incorporation and recognition, and to the IRS for tax exemption.
The fee's add up! So were trying to scramble for contributors now, our lawyer wants to file ASAP as do we in order to try and have things in place by the end of the summer, and time is tight! He wants to file next week, and I just don't have the cash in my own account, neither does my sister.
I feel terrible asking for help from people before we have our tax exempt status, but its impossible to get the status without some help!
I just hope family and friends can help us pull this together, I'd hate to keep waiting, especially since its been 10 years in the making!

I will keep you posted on how it turns out!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Miss Independent


A-bunny has been an independent little girl for quite some time, she does not like getting help with anything! It started when she first tried to crawl, If she would push herself over to a toy and we gave it a little nudge so it was closer, she would not get excited it was in reach, she would get frustrated you helped and push it away again.
Same sort of thing happened when she started to pull herself to standing, if you gave her a little help she would Yell at you and get a furious look on her face (Similar to an "HOW DARE YOU" look).
This has occurred with countless things over the past 13 months, feeding; she likes eating on her own with her fingers, she does not enjoy you spoon feeding her, also playing she does not want help with puzzles or stacker's, she wants to figure it out on her own. Walking; she would rather trip and fall and scrape an appendage then hold your hand for help!

Now my baby girl is loosing all of her "Baby Specific" things, she is now asking to use the potty ( have to go buy her a seat this week) she is running around like a pro,Talking up a storm, getting smarter and wittier by the day, self entertaining ( with the exception of our 3 hours of reading a day), she lost her nighttime bottle this week so she's totally done with them, and thanks to the magical toddler pillow is putting herself to sleep.
I am VERY sad about this, she's to young to not have ANY baby specific stuff!

I swear of she looses her Plug (Binky/ pacifier) anytime soon I will burst into tears uncontrollably! That's the last Baby thing we have!

My darling husbands cheer up comment to TRY and make me feel better was "Time for another one"

Another one isn't going to change the fact that my first baby girl is outgrowing everything and its happening at lightning speed!
All its going to do is replace the baby stuff & make me double as sad 2 see them both grow up!
But, that's how it works, I'll deal... but its sad to see it all flying by! 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Pillow Talk


I tend to over research things, I am a tad nervous by nature and VERY cautious these days! I worry all the time and I tend to over think EVERYTHING!

I am like this in all area's of my life, my home, my marriage, money, and mostly with my daughter! I follow all of my pediatricians instructions, I check on the ratings of everything I buy and the consumer reports! 

So recently I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out the best way to get A-bunny to fall asleep without me camped out on her floor! 

Everything I tried took forever to get her to sleep and I was still in the room with my hand in the crib,
First I tried a musical snow globe in her room..... no luck
Next I tried singing to her ...no luck
third I tried classical music... that seemed to help speed up the process but I still could not leave the room.

While on a shopping trip to Babies R Us I came across a "toddler pillow" 
I had read about them, and have been nervous to put one in the crib with Bunny, Suffocation risks, SIDS and such. My doctor told me after a year would be fine to give her a pillow but she is a tummy sleeper so I held off.  Like I said I am a nervous Nelly, And all my research on these things didn't take the worrying away.
This particular pillow said "for 1 year and up" others in the same area said 2 and up, so I picked it up and figured I'd give it a shot.
Its nothing special, a small pillow around the size of a small throw pillow, felt the same as a regular pillow, except it came with a satin case.

So last night we tested it out, and I can honestly say I have NEVER had an easier night putting her to bed, she put her head on the pillow and I didn't hear a single peep out of her all night.
I thought it may have been a fluke, like maybe she was super tiered and it made it easier.
Well tonight I brought her upstairs, again placed her cute little head on the pillow and walked out of the room immediately.
I am happy to report the bunny is snuggled up, put herself to sleep 2 nights in a row, and I think this pillow has magic powers!
I honestly didn't think I would see this happen for MONTHS maybe years!

I am in love with this thing, its the best $10 bucks I have spent it a while, and with good timing too! My back was starting to bug me from laying on her floor for 30 min a night! 

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Puppy Problems

A-Bunny loves dogs, she see a dog ANYWHERE on TV, in a car, while we are out and about, she immediately starts saying "puppy" over and over and over, she wont stop until the puppy is out of sight.
Well our neighbors have a dog, a big very scary Shepard ( I don't like any large dog with a pointed snout, they scare me, Dobermans,Shepard,Canaan's, Chinook) Its funny because I love large typically "scary" breeds of dogs, mastiff's, bull dogs( all types) pit bulls, my favorite breed is a Rottweiler... but if you put a pointy nosed dog in front of me I tense up!

Anyway's, back to the point, our neighbors have a Shepard, big scary thing that loves to get right in A-bunnies face and sniff & lick her whenever he's out... Well the last time she wound up with a rash on her face, we thought it might have been something in the grass, or in the air, she had just got over a virus that caused her to get a rash on her back, we thought maybe it was just popping up else ware..... Well today the dog did it again, and sure enough Bunny girl started to get blotches on her face!
I think she may be allergic to him, and this is a great concern to me, because not only does SHE love puppies, but MOMMY has lobbiedto get an English bulldog for YEARS! I've put in lots of hard work, and piled on the guilt thick, in fact when A-bunny started showing an interest in puppies I started teaching her to say "Daddy puppy Please" which she has mastered! That along with " I want a puppy daddy" when she says it it is more like "Iwna puppy daddy" in triple speed! but still she's right on board with the agenda her speech is just not up to par with her agenda! We have been softening daddy up to the idea of a puppy, and he's been considering it!
If my bunny is allergic, we will both be VERY sad girls!

I don't think I have the heart to tell her "no you cant have a puppy because they make you sick" The poor girl LOVES puppies! I'm hoping its a fluke with only this dog, and she wont have any other issues. Her great Aunt had 2 labs that she hasn't had a problem with that I have noticed!

Fingers crossed for us, My poor bunny wants a puppy so bad! (and so does MOMMY!)

Bright and Shiny


Ever have one of those days where you just feel great?! everything falls into place, and goes smoothly, and at the end of it you just have to share?
Well I Had a day like that today!

It started with the greatest husband in the world, getting up with my gorgeous baby, before I even had a chance to start to wake up, he fed her and played with her for an hour before I woke up, giving me some MUCH needed beauty sleep! When I did come downstairs he had a pot of coffee made for me! Fabulous start to the day!
since I had such a nice smooth start to the day I got dressed and ready to go out and about & started making some contacts out to attorneys for the foundation before I left the house!
We then ventured to the bank and to the store to get A-bunny some more spring outfits, it was a lovely morning!
When we got home, A-bunny actually went down for a nap without a fight for the first time in a week, and I was able to make some more calls for the foundation as well as rest on the couch for a half an hour!
when Bunny girl woke up we ventured out again after her lunch and got some nice new plants for the side flower beds!

We came home and I made dinner, and Lipshun & my favorite boy came over for a visit. After about an hour of visiting I got a call..... A lawyer , the firm was one of my old accounts from the press.
I spoke with him for about 20 min and set up a meeting for next week, He is very interested in working for the foundation pro bono, and wants to help us get things going fast!

Perfect end to my day! It was like the stars aligned for me today and I have the best feeling in the world right now! 
Quality day with my husband and daughter, fun visit with my sister & nephew, and the biggest hold up on starting the foundation has been conquered, all this hard work is paying off! I feel like a million bucks and like I should be buying scratch offs or lotto tickets, because I am a very lucky lady!

Now I am going to go snuggle my fabulous husband and get to bed, I just really needed to share how great my day was, since a lot of my blogs are about obstacles and funny antidotes, I wanted to share some "bright and shiny"!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Mommy Business Part 2



So since my announcement post on Mothers day my sister Lipshun and I have been Foundation planning full force, Little lipshun is on board, poppason ( our dad) approves, and plans are looking good, lots of awesome ideas for fundraisers, our mission statement is prepared, and I even started working up a proposal for potential donors ( our private donations to run the foundation) once we get our tax ID squared away!
I have hit a wall though, I need  a business lawyer to work pro bono for the foundation in order to get it operational, all the legal stuff needs to be in place along with getting our IRS tax ID number for donations and pledges to be written off on income tax.
I have yet to find this lawyer, A few people I have spoke to along with a few lawyers who don't handle charitable organizations have told me I need to go to the bigger law firms, that they HAVE to do pro bono work.
So I have a few contacts out, but I feel like its taking forever! I want to start fundraising, and planning the 1st annual benefit dinner, and I cant until we are legally recognized as a charitable foundation By NYS & the IRS!

But aside from that hold up it looks like we may make this work, and our plans are fantastic! I cant wait to see my friends mock up of the foundation logo, I have a feeling that is going to make it all real for me!

I really want to give you details and the mission statement all my plans, but I am so sorry i have to wait until we are official, a recognized Charity in NYS, this is very important to me and I don't want to jinx it!

I know my mother would have loved this, and I hope she's watching us bust our humps to make it real and smiling!

Outgrowing 2 fast!


I almost don't want to write this because I don't want to believe it is happening, I haven't had much free time to blog lately due to various projects I have going on, baby showers, parties, birthday thank you's from last month ( I have been busy give me a break!)

and starting up the foundation ( post to come later with an update). Also, A-bunny for the past 3 days has been refusing to take more then a 30 min cat nap all day long! I have this terrible feeling she may be trying to outgrow them on me!
And I am not ready for that just yet! I need her nap in my day, its my most productive time! I get uninterrupted time to do dishes, fold laundry, clean the appliances or dust, stuff that's hard to do with a-bunny awake and wanting to play or "read"
she's literally be fighting me, its like she's a toddler with colic still! she arches her back and flails her arms around, its a nightmare!

so if all my readers can cross your fingers for me, that I at least get a few more  weeks with a daily nap it would be appreciated! I need all the help I can get, I am SHOT!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Prop's for Big Boy

I am one of those woman who brags about her hubby! I love everything about my husband, even the quirks that can drive me crazy sometimes! He is the absolute perfect guy for me, he knows me inside and out the strange workings of my brain, and even though i drive him crazy sometimes, he loves me just the same!

He has spoiled me since the first week we started dating, and has not stopped since. I am a middle child, being spoiled is something I will never get use to! I came from a family that loved me very much, but often in the stress and drama of other things going on during my mid-late childhood (examples; my mother being sick, my grandfather being ill, deaths, surgeries, therapies, and such) I often got lost in the shuffle. I use to be upset about this, and jealous of my 2 sisters that this did not really happen to. I accepted if for what it was, knew the reasons weren't that I wasn't loved or even that they didn't care, it just kind of happened, it still hurt a bit, but it wasn't devastating, nothing I couldn't handle!
Its pretty common for this to happen with middle children, let alone a middle child in a family prone to disaster!

Well Big boy changed that, he puts me as top priority ( now I share this with my A-bunny) 
Never really being spoiled I still feel some kind of way about getting presents & special treatment consistently, but I get it anyway and he doesn't let me argue it! 
Mothers day was no exception! I was allowed to sleep in while Big boy tended to A-bunnies morning routine, when I came down I was met with a cup of coffee and an egg sandwich.... when I got home from soccer I was able to shower & get ready for dinner while Big boy occupied A-bunny.... and then my loves gave me my gifts ( a gift card to go shopping & a bottle of my perfume) , cards & treated me to dinner out.... I felt like a princess! 

I use 2 try and skip over holidays when possible, I didn't look forward to them, in fear of "what if they forget" and also the bad memories I have of tragedies occurring on them.... I don't dread as many anymore, because I know that my husband will try with everything he has in him to make it a good day for me, he does it every year with my birthday ( which I am convinced is cursed) Valentines day, Christmas, new years... every day in my life attached with a sad memory he tries every year to turn it good.... it is the sweetest, and most loving thing i have ever witnessed!

I just had to praise him for this, because slowly but surely he is changeling things for me, he makes me feel better and better every year, and I love him for it!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mommy Business


In the spirit of today, one Very special day of the year where us mothers get recognized for the super hero's we are I want to talk about something very important!

My mother!

My mother was amazing, she was smart, and talented, fun and silly... she was a hard a$$ but I think almost all moms are! She was the right combo of scary and lovable!
She was also taken from me almost 10 years ago!

My mother passed away in Oct 2001 from cervical cancer, its been a tough 10 years, it never does get better, it gets a little easier, but never better! there is always something she "should be here to see or do"
Proms, diploma's, Weddings, babies ,disasters or tragedies that only a mom knows how to help you with..... life goes on and there is no rewind button!

The reason I am telling you this is because in the past 10 years I have gone through many phases in my life, when she first died I wanted to memorialize her on my back with a tattoo, foolish considering the woman despise tattoo's so I was left to pick another memorial. Then I began to think Maybe If I donate to various causes in her memory it would somehow sustain a memorial of some sort, not what i had in mind not big enough for me!
Years later I decided that if I ever had a daughter she would be named after her, which I did do, A-bunny's middle name is Kathleen after my mother.... but again It isn't hitting the note I want it to!

On to the point!

In the past few years I have been talking to my husband about my plans for this issue I have, explaining I wanted to do something bigger and better in her name!
Also in the past 10 years, there have not been many medical breakthroughs in cancer research, for treatment, or for prevention, almost all the options are the same!
A few new types of chemo but that's about it! there have been tremendous breakthroughs in surgery, and in pharmaceuticals, but the cancer treatment end of things is a little less productive. Its a hard disease to crack!
I walk relay for life every year, and I make gift donations to hospitals but its not enough!

What I have come up with and am in the process of building is "The Kathleen F. Marks Memorial Foundation" 
I am putting together my mission statement and going through my check lists for nonprofit organizations, I have been doing a lot more with it in the past 6 months then I have in the 3 years i have been talking about it.
My goal is to get it up and operational by the 10th anniversary of my mothers death.... weather that is going to happen who knows, but it is my goal!

I have got a lot of fantastic idea's and strategies to get the foundation started up with a bang, but who knows if I will be able to execute them in the next 5 months! I'm ambitious, and I have tunnel vision, but there's a lot of papers to be filed and i am first and most importantly a mommy, and A-bunny is my #1 priority!

anyway, To celebrate mothers day I thought I would share my big plans for my moms memory Today!

Happy mothers day! ;) 

Friday, May 6, 2011

No Sick Days

In the past if I were sick at all, I would simply pick up the phone, call my manager and say "I wont be in today" and roll back over and sleep till I felt better, or got hungry whichever came first!
When your job description includes caregiver, housekeeper, cook and entertainer.... you do not have that luxury! You see, because no matter how awful I am feeling, at 7 am everyday, A-bunny will wake up, and expect mommy to change her diaper, give her milk & her breakfast, play with her, read to her, give her snack & snuggle her before her morning nap.... then the afternoon she will wake up and expect another diaper, lunch, playtime inside or outside, more reading dinner, bath time and so on!
and unfortunately for me ( fortunate for my husband) I always seem to get sick while he is working night shift! so I am doing ALL of it all by my lonesome!
She is usually the one who gets me sick also, so this particular time she is just starting to feel better, still with plenty of boogers & complaining though! cant get frustrated with it, I now know exactly how she's been feeling!

so even though I have a fever & chills, my nose is closed up and no matter how hard or often I blow it wont clear, that my throat feels like it is on fire & my chest is tight..... There is no sick day for me! To top of all this, household chores must still be handled! laundry cant keep piling up, cant have the sink overflow with dishes, and surfaces must be cleaned and sanitized to avoid spreading more germs! floors much be vacuumed and meals must be cooked!

I know it will pass in a couple of days, and anything I cant do I will catch up on when I feel better, but with my luck I'll be spending my mothers day after soccer at home cleaning! 
I love my new job, but sometimes I wish I still had 1 or 2 of the perks from my old one!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Casper's Twin


Since I was a very small child I have been a sun worshiper! I love summer, I love being tan and I don't care what people think about it! When I was a teen my summer jobs consisted of swim instructor & lifeguard... or camp swim team coach.
Needless to say I picked a summer job that would keep me in the sun as much as possible. I have always had great skin for tanning also, I get a beautiful golden bronze color to my skin, very sun kissed and sexy! To be safer though and avoid severe burns I developed a routine for myself before work every summer, and I continued it into adulthood.
Starting the end of Feb or early March I would start going to the tanning salon 1-2 times a week, not a crazy fake baker going every single day and turning orange, but enough to start conditioning my skin for the sun and developing a "base tan" I would continue this for 6-8 weeks until I had a consistent light gold color to me before I hit the real rays! This was to avoid the first day of real sun scorching burn!

Every year it worked like a charm, If I did burn my first day out in the real sun, it was insignificant and would fade within a day or 2.

the purpose for this little explanation is simple, I did not do that this year! In fact the last time was golden and sun kissed was the summer of 2009, our 1st anniversary trip to Jamaica.... the reason for that is that following month in Aug I found out I was pregnant. The summer was just about done when I found out, and I was pregnant for the 2010 base tan season ( your not allowed to fake bake while pregnant) and the summer of 2010 I had a newborn that I could not have out in the sun ( therefore I was pasty not sexy last summer) I literally got 2 hours by myself on the beach last summer to get a little color, that was it. This years fake bake season just didn't happen due 2 lack of funds and time!
So my skin has not been tan in 2 years, literally pasty pale ( which I have never in my life been, I always have at least a little gold even as a child)

WELL, Sunday at soccer practice it was beautiful out, sunny and 70 degrees, felt like heaven! the entire 2 hours I was there I felt fantastic, until the very end of practice when I realized "oh crap I only have sunscreen on my face and neck from my moisturizer" Normally this would not matter so much, on normal years I would of had a base tan, and may have gotten a little rosy on the chest and tops of my shoulders which would have faded within 2 days or less...... I have no base at all, and no sunscreen on skin that has not seen sun in 2 years is not a nice sight! ( meanwhile the little bit of 15 spf that is in my moisturizer kept my face and neck nice and protected and I now have a nice pretty gold tone going on my face shows you how pasty the rest of me is!)

Can I just tell you my wrists, tops of my shoulders and chest look like a fire engine! and the reason I use that association is simple.... I feel like I am on fire! even when I was a lifeguard and out in the sun for 8 hours I never felt sensitivity like this! it is so tight and tender!
I will definitely be returning to my controversial  routine next year, and even some of this year, because this incident as educational as it was, has now left me with a beater tank tan line  and knowledge that I was pretty genius with my sun conditioning  in previous years! Oh and also I will be buying sun block to carry in my purse as well as in the diaper bag!! :)


I also feel very lucky I didn't wear shorts to practice this week! The little sun I did get last summer did not include my legs! They are pretty much translucent at this point and you could call me Casper's twin!