Cutting down on posts :(

Hey Everyone, I am so sorry I have been missing since vacation.

When we got home I went into work mode with the foundation tunnel vision to make our first event the best it could possibly be, and during the craziness I suffered a terrible loss.

I found out One of my dear friends tragically passed away, I was and still am devastated from it. He was one of my favorite people in the world, and a piece of my heart is now gone.

after the trauma of his death I shut down for a short time, only focusing on doing what NEEDED to be done, Basic household chores and caring for my A-bunny.

It has been 2 months and I can honestly say despite the ache I feel in my chest when I think of my friend, life Is back in the swing for me.  The foundation is doing incredibly well, we are getting more recognized everyday, and people are spreading the word! We were offered another booth for the end of Sept. and I am working hard on that as well!

My Sister Lipshun Had her baby girl the day of the celebration, and I am in LOVE! But that also means My Vice president and co-director of the foundation has been on maternity leave since July! lol another reason I have been absent!

So what I am trying to say, Is I am truly sorry for not updating, but my posts are going to continue to be few and far between for a while, This is a crucial time for the foundation in order for it to be successful, between those duties, my duties at home which everyone knows as MANY, and my need to keep as busy as humanly possible I fear that I wont have time to update this as much as I would like!

For now I am going to promise a post per month, Soon we will have our foundation page up and running and our tax exemption and that means I will be even busier, so try and be patient with me!! ;)

Busy Busy Mommy!

Again many apologies for my absence this past week, lots going on once again!

Big boy got a promotion at work, The same day the promotion was confirmed, The foundation was offered a sponsored booth at a local celebration, which is HUGE! around 20,000 people from all over the Hudson valley traffic this celebration every year, so its a fantastic opportunity to introduce the foundation to the community! So I have been planning that as well!

working on yet another baby shower wishing well, and packing up to leave for vacation tomorrow!

BUSY BUSY MOMMY!

A-bunny is doing fantastic, she is now running around our house, combing her hair, and her new favorite word is pretty!

she goes around asking "pretty pretty please" for everything, she puts her headbands on and hats and says "pretty pretty hat"

its quite possibly the cutest thing EVER!

I will elaborate more when we get home from vacation, but I just wanted to drop in and give a quick update and let you know I wont have access to the computer until after Thursday, so my funny little stories are going to have to wait!

see you in a week!

Boy crazy before 2

A-bunny has been a flirt since she was able to focus her eyes. She see's a good looking guy and she immediately bats her eyes, and shrugs up her shoulder, and acts bashful and gives a flirty little smile. Going to big trouble later on in life for Big Boy and myself!

Well A-bunny has developed a big crush on her friend C.

So big in fact that when she see's him she immediately starts showing off to get his attention, smiles from ear to ear and of course is very happy and excited! Well she got to visit with C. the other day, Big Boy and I went to a Yankee game with some good friends, and left A-bunny with our friend (C.'s Mom) 

She had a great time Playing there! And after we picked her up she was sooo exhausted on the ride home that something happened that NEVER happens, she fell asleep in the car.

When we pulled into the driveway she woke up, which would not be abnormal until the first thing out of her mouth was C's name.

She went and had her bath and told Big boy about her day while splashing around. And when she got out I was on the computer looking at a picture C's mom took while A-bunny was there.

C was in the picture along with Bunny girl & another little boy she watches. 

Well A-bunny takes one look at the picture and starts shrieking with excitement "dats conger mommy" (conger is her adaptation of C's actual name)

and then for 15 min strait repeated his name.

I think teen years are going to be rather painful! I wish my mom were alive! I would try and square my karma with her & apologize to her! I am getting a slight glimpse of what she went through for years with me! NOT FUN!

Sprinkle

So Lipshuns #2 baby sprinkle was this weekend, turned out beautifully, most of the people that RSVP yes showed up despite the ugly weather forecast!

The only hurdle I really had was my kid!

I thought for sure she was going to knock right out at bedtime, she had been playing and visiting all day with people, running and using up tons of energy.

BUT.... NO such luck, we spent the night at poppasons house and she was not feeling the change in scenery! She just wanted her cushy bed in her quiet room at home, the pack n play in the strange room wasn't cutting it!

It took me 2 hours 2 do something that normally take 5 min. 

And when she finally did fall asleep the entire party aside from lipshun, keanu, and keanu's brother, and of course my aunt and cousin who were also spending the night, had left the building.

so much for mommy let loose time huh!?

I don't like spending the night away from home either, I have a very hard time sleeping to begin with, and when im out of my element its much worse, so I didn't finally doze off until after 2am, and wouldn't you know, A-bunny was up and crying at 3:30?!

she would not go back to bed until after 5am, and luckily then slept till 8, so I had a grand total of 4hours of sleep. Lucky me I had soccer the next day...... so while Big boy took A-bunny home for her to get a much needed nap, I was reffing soccer games for 2 hours! ( I wont complain 2 much I really do enjoy doing it and I get 2 see one of my best friends every week because of it!)

Needless to say we will not be having many sleep overs away from home unless ABSOLUTELY necessary! 

Big Boy or 2nd Kid?

A-bunny, Big boy and I were invited to a friends son's birthday party a few weeks back, A-bunny Love's this boy C, as well as his mommy, she getssoooo excited when she see's them. Pretty sure she's got a little bit of a crush on C.

A-bunny had a great time at the party, so good in fact that she refused to nap because she didn't want to miss anything, so I took her to lipshunshouse to try and get her a little rested so big boy could hang out at the "after party" the Big people's fun time.

well my plan was foiled, A-bunny did not nap, so I decided to stay at Lipshuns, get some food for dinner and give Big boy more time to play, I went to pick him up an hour after I told him we were going to head home.

This is where my question came from, Big Boy or 2nd Kid?!

When I arrived at the party to collect my husband, I was met in the road by him and my brother in law Keanu! What was supposed to be an easy transition in my head, quickly turned into negotiating with what felt like 4 and 5 year olds.

I was all of a sudden being hammered with guilt into staying with my so much more than cranky 13 month old in the back seat of the car!

I swear it sounded like "mom cant I stay and play" and "cant you guys just sleep over my house its ok with my mom"

When the whining and begging didn't work, Keanu changed his tactic and began annoying me into changing my mind Hanging on me ( mind you I'm about 110lbs and 5'6 he is 6'4 and 240 lbs), tickling me, using my head and an arm rest, and blocking me from big boy......meanwhile  Big Boy being the manipulative child now was on the phone with lipshun to try and get her ok on the sleep over.

after 20 min of being hammered by the over sized toddlers I finally folded, I agreed to stay until A-bunny started to have a melt down and that Big Boy could have a sleep over with Keanu. 

When I got pregnant I did not sign up for a 5'11 240lb toddler & his partner in crime mister 6'4 240lb brother!

How exactly did this happen?!

OH AND THE KICKER!! I ALMOST FORGOT.......... your going to love this!!! After the crazy guilt and manipulation shenanigans in the street were finished, don't you know Big boy comes over says "thank you" and then has the nerve to say "Your making me feel guilty for going home without me" I LOST IT I said "OH NAY NAY, YOU DON'T GET TO PASS THE GUILT BACK ONTO ME! YOU JUST TAG TEAM GUILT TRIPPED ME WITH YOUR BIG BROTHER OVER THERE" 

he laughed and just said "thank you, I love you"

Many Apologies

First I want to apologize to those of you who follow daily! I have been a very busy bee lately and Its been a little hard for me to get to the computer. For this I will be making it up to you! I plan on giving you a few posts today! this one is simply going to be a catch up blog, and I have a some of my escapades to share later!

To catch you up on what has been keeping me so busy I will start with a foundation update! 

As of last Friday we are officially filed in Albany for Incorporation, we should have the official name recognized as a NYS charity sometime between now and  the very latest August! were hoping for sooner rather then later! I have been researching local business and chamber of commerce for possible sponsorships once out IRS 501 status is accepted, and as always thinking of new and exciting fundraising options!

In addition to the foundation my Lipshuns "sprinkle" for the 2nd baby has been tying me up as well, figuring out who is bringing what, making sure my prizes for the raffle are squared away, and figuring out a course of action for the prep and cleanup!

Its going to be lots of fun!

and as always my bosses have been keeping me real busy on top of this, running errands, cooking, spring cleaning, reading, playing and so on!

so please accept my apologies, I am going to try my hardest to keep it from happening again! ;)

Time Crunch

Today seems to be moving at a snails pace I am trying to dig up money for the foundation filing fee's and its very slow going, if you haven't been keeping up with the foundation updates I'll recap a little!

My mother Died from Cervical cancer back in Oct of 2001, its been nearly 10 years, and the breakthroughs in cancer treatments have been minimal in that time.

My sister Lipshun & I along with Big boy Started Brainstorming on how we can effect more change in that area. I decided I wanted to start a Charity, One that contributes to Cancer research, but also helps patients in treatment and their families in financial need! I immediately got the support of both of them, Lipshun and I have been brainstorming for a while, I have been reaching out to lawyers and accountants for help, and we have got some major feedback, in fact they are both working for the foundation pro bono without even having our incorporation filed yet!

Here lies the problem, The incorporation and filing to be recognized as a NYS charitable organization costs about $330.00

then to get 501 tax exemption costs about $750.00, these are standard filing fee's we cant get around!

Both Lipshun and I are in single income houses, so our money contributions are minimal, and we have had a few friends offer with help once we are up and running ( which is amazing!) but only a couple offers to help with the fee's. ( thank you to the couple who have offered it means more then you know!) so we are a little less then halfway to the fee's total!

So I am digging, like seriously digging, If I Had the money I would pay for out outright and not even bother asking anyone until they are able to write it off on their taxes! BUT I haven't worked in over a year, my soccer paycheck is not substantial by any means, And I am already using ALL of ittowards the foundation!

So I have been wracking my brain on how to come up with the rest of the fee's before the middle of next week, I am determined to get this filed by next week, I want us to be able to accept contributions by the end of the summer! I am now off to roll ALL of the change I have in my house, and hope I get some more e-mails or phone calls! Crossing my fingers we'll get some more offers to help!

Quick Foundation Update

Well, with an update on the foundation, we got some amazing news yesterday! We had a meeting with our lawyer who has offered to donate his time and services to the cause, also we received a call from our accountant with the same message to us.

Unfortunately we still need to come up with the filing fee's for the state for incorporation and recognition, and to the IRS for tax exemption.

The fee's add up! So were trying to scramble for contributors now, our lawyer wants to file ASAP as do we in order to try and have things in place by the end of the summer, and time is tight! He wants to file next week, and I just don't have the cash in my own account, neither does my sister.

I feel terrible asking for help from people before we have our tax exempt status, but its impossible to get the status without some help!

I just hope family and friends can help us pull this together, I'd hate to keep waiting, especially since its been 10 years in the making!

I will keep you posted on how it turns out!

Miss Independent

A-bunny has been an independent little girl for quite some time, she does not like getting help with anything! It started when she first tried to crawl, If she would push herself over to a toy and we gave it a little nudge so it was closer, she would not get excited it was in reach, she would get frustrated you helped and push it away again.

Same sort of thing happened when she started to pull herself to standing, if you gave her a little help she would Yell at you and get a furious look on her face (Similar to an "HOW DARE YOU" look).

This has occurred with countless things over the past 13 months, feeding; she likes eating on her own with her fingers, she does not enjoy you spoon feeding her, also playing she does not want help with puzzles or stacker's, she wants to figure it out on her own. Walking; she would rather trip and fall and scrape an appendage then hold your hand for help!

Now my baby girl is loosing all of her "Baby Specific" things, she is now asking to use the potty ( have to go buy her a seat this week) she is running around like a pro,Talking up a storm, getting smarter and wittier by the day, self entertaining ( with the exception of our 3 hours of reading a day), she lost her nighttime bottle this week so she's totally done with them, and thanks to the magical toddler pillow is putting herself to sleep.

I am VERY sad about this, she's to young to not have ANY baby specific stuff!

I swear of she looses her Plug (Binky/ pacifier) anytime soon I will burst into tears uncontrollably! That's the last Baby thing we have!

My darling husbands cheer up comment to TRY and make me feel better was "Time for another one"

Another one isn't going to change the fact that my first baby girl is outgrowing everything and its happening at lightning speed!

All its going to do is replace the baby stuff & make me double as sad 2 see them both grow up!

But, that's how it works, I'll deal... but its sad to see it all flying by! 

Pillow Talk

I tend to over research things, I am a tad nervous by nature and VERY cautious these days! I worry all the time and I tend to over think EVERYTHING!

I am like this in all area's of my life, my home, my marriage, money, and mostly with my daughter! I follow all of my pediatricians instructions, I check on the ratings of everything I buy and the consumer reports! 

So recently I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out the best way to get A-bunny to fall asleep without me camped out on her floor! 

Everything I tried took forever to get her to sleep and I was still in the room with my hand in the crib,

First I tried a musical snow globe in her room..... no luck

Next I tried singing to her ...no luck

third I tried classical music... that seemed to help speed up the process but I still could not leave the room.

While on a shopping trip to Babies R Us I came across a "toddler pillow" 

I had read about them, and have been nervous to put one in the crib with Bunny, Suffocation risks, SIDS and such. My doctor told me after a year would be fine to give her a pillow but she is a tummy sleeper so I held off.  Like I said I am a nervous Nelly, And all my research on these things didn't take the worrying away.

This particular pillow said "for 1 year and up" others in the same area said 2 and up, so I picked it up and figured I'd give it a shot.

Its nothing special, a small pillow around the size of a small throw pillow, felt the same as a regular pillow, except it came with a satin case.

So last night we tested it out, and I can honestly say I have NEVER had an easier night putting her to bed, she put her head on the pillow and I didn't hear a single peep out of her all night.

I thought it may have been a fluke, like maybe she was super tiered and it made it easier.

Well tonight I brought her upstairs, again placed her cute little head on the pillow and walked out of the room immediately.

I am happy to report the bunny is snuggled up, put herself to sleep 2 nights in a row, and I think this pillow has magic powers!

I honestly didn't think I would see this happen for MONTHS maybe years!

I am in love with this thing, its the best $10 bucks I have spent it a while, and with good timing too! My back was starting to bug me from laying on her floor for 30 min a night! 

Puppy Problems

A-Bunny loves dogs, she see a dog ANYWHERE on TV, in a car, while we are out and about, she immediately starts saying "puppy" over and over and over, she wont stop until the puppy is out of sight.

Well our neighbors have a dog, a big very scary Shepard ( I don't like any large dog with a pointed snout, they scare me, Dobermans,Shepard,Canaan's, Chinook) Its funny because I love large typically "scary" breeds of dogs, mastiff's, bull dogs( all types) pit bulls, my favorite breed is a Rottweiler... but if you put a pointy nosed dog in front of me I tense up!

Anyway's, back to the point, our neighbors have a Shepard, big scary thing that loves to get right in A-bunnies face and sniff & lick her whenever he's out... Well the last time she wound up with a rash on her face, we thought it might have been something in the grass, or in the air, she had just got over a virus that caused her to get a rash on her back, we thought maybe it was just popping up else ware..... Well today the dog did it again, and sure enough Bunny girl started to get blotches on her face!

I think she may be allergic to him, and this is a great concern to me, because not only does SHE love puppies, but MOMMY has lobbiedto get an English bulldog for YEARS! I've put in lots of hard work, and piled on the guilt thick, in fact when A-bunny started showing an interest in puppies I started teaching her to say "Daddy puppy Please" which she has mastered! That along with " I want a puppy daddy" when she says it it is more like "Iwna puppy daddy" in triple speed! but still she's right on board with the agenda her speech is just not up to par with her agenda! We have been softening daddy up to the idea of a puppy, and he's been considering it!

If my bunny is allergic, we will both be VERY sad girls!

I don't think I have the heart to tell her "no you cant have a puppy because they make you sick" The poor girl LOVES puppies! I'm hoping its a fluke with only this dog, and she wont have any other issues. Her great Aunt had 2 labs that she hasn't had a problem with that I have noticed!

Fingers crossed for us, My poor bunny wants a puppy so bad! (and so does MOMMY!)

Bright and Shiny

Ever have one of those days where you just feel great?! everything falls into place, and goes smoothly, and at the end of it you just have to share?

Well I Had a day like that today!

It started with the greatest husband in the world, getting up with my gorgeous baby, before I even had a chance to start to wake up, he fed her and played with her for an hour before I woke up, giving me some MUCH needed beauty sleep! When I did come downstairs he had a pot of coffee made for me! Fabulous start to the day!

since I had such a nice smooth start to the day I got dressed and ready to go out and about & started making some contacts out to attorneys for the foundation before I left the house!

We then ventured to the bank and to the store to get A-bunny some more spring outfits, it was a lovely morning!

When we got home, A-bunny actually went down for a nap without a fight for the first time in a week, and I was able to make some more calls for the foundation as well as rest on the couch for a half an hour!

when Bunny girl woke up we ventured out again after her lunch and got some nice new plants for the side flower beds!

We came home and I made dinner, and Lipshun & my favorite boy came over for a visit. After about an hour of visiting I got a call..... A lawyer , the firm was one of my old accounts from the press.

I spoke with him for about 20 min and set up a meeting for next week, He is very interested in working for the foundation pro bono, and wants to help us get things going fast!

Perfect end to my day! It was like the stars aligned for me today and I have the best feeling in the world right now! 

Quality day with my husband and daughter, fun visit with my sister & nephew, and the biggest hold up on starting the foundation has been conquered, all this hard work is paying off! I feel like a million bucks and like I should be buying scratch offs or lotto tickets, because I am a very lucky lady!

Now I am going to go snuggle my fabulous husband and get to bed, I just really needed to share how great my day was, since a lot of my blogs are about obstacles and funny antidotes, I wanted to share some "bright and shiny"!

Mommy Business Part 2

So since my announcement post on Mothers day my sister Lipshun and I have been Foundation planning full force, Little lipshun is on board, poppason ( our dad) approves, and plans are looking good, lots of awesome ideas for fundraisers, our mission statement is prepared, and I even started working up a proposal for potential donors ( our private donations to run the foundation) once we get our tax ID squared away!

I have hit a wall though, I need  a business lawyer to work pro bono for the foundation in order to get it operational, all the legal stuff needs to be in place along with getting our IRS tax ID number for donations and pledges to be written off on income tax.

I have yet to find this lawyer, A few people I have spoke to along with a few lawyers who don't handle charitable organizations have told me I need to go to the bigger law firms, that they HAVE to do pro bono work.

So I have a few contacts out, but I feel like its taking forever! I want to start fundraising, and planning the 1st annual benefit dinner, and I cant until we are legally recognized as a charitable foundation By NYS & the IRS!

But aside from that hold up it looks like we may make this work, and our plans are fantastic! I cant wait to see my friends mock up of the foundation logo, I have a feeling that is going to make it all real for me!

I really want to give you details and the mission statement all my plans, but I am so sorry i have to wait until we are official, a recognized Charity in NYS, this is very important to me and I don't want to jinx it!

I know my mother would have loved this, and I hope she's watching us bust our humps to make it real and smiling!

Outgrowing 2 fast!

I almost don't want to write this because I don't want to believe it is happening, I haven't had much free time to blog lately due to various projects I have going on, baby showers, parties, birthday thank you's from last month ( I have been busy give me a break!)

and starting up the foundation ( post to come later with an update). Also, A-bunny for the past 3 days has been refusing to take more then a 30 min cat nap all day long! I have this terrible feeling she may be trying to outgrow them on me!

And I am not ready for that just yet! I need her nap in my day, its my most productive time! I get uninterrupted time to do dishes, fold laundry, clean the appliances or dust, stuff that's hard to do with a-bunny awake and wanting to play or "read"

she's literally be fighting me, its like she's a toddler with colic still! she arches her back and flails her arms around, its a nightmare!

so if all my readers can cross your fingers for me, that I at least get a few more  weeks with a daily nap it would be appreciated! I need all the help I can get, I am SHOT!

Prop's for Big Boy

I am one of those woman who brags about her hubby! I love everything about my husband, even the quirks that can drive me crazy sometimes! He is the absolute perfect guy for me, he knows me inside and out the strange workings of my brain, and even though i drive him crazy sometimes, he loves me just the same!

He has spoiled me since the first week we started dating, and has not stopped since. I am a middle child, being spoiled is something I will never get use to! I came from a family that loved me very much, but often in the stress and drama of other things going on during my mid-late childhood (examples; my mother being sick, my grandfather being ill, deaths, surgeries, therapies, and such) I often got lost in the shuffle. I use to be upset about this, and jealous of my 2 sisters that this did not really happen to. I accepted if for what it was, knew the reasons weren't that I wasn't loved or even that they didn't care, it just kind of happened, it still hurt a bit, but it wasn't devastating, nothing I couldn't handle!

Its pretty common for this to happen with middle children, let alone a middle child in a family prone to disaster!

Well Big boy changed that, he puts me as top priority ( now I share this with my A-bunny) 

Never really being spoiled I still feel some kind of way about getting presents & special treatment consistently, but I get it anyway and he doesn't let me argue it! 

Mothers day was no exception! I was allowed to sleep in while Big boy tended to A-bunnies morning routine, when I came down I was met with a cup of coffee and an egg sandwich.... when I got home from soccer I was able to shower & get ready for dinner while Big boy occupied A-bunny.... and then my loves gave me my gifts ( a gift card to go shopping & a bottle of my perfume) , cards & treated me to dinner out.... I felt like a princess! 

I use 2 try and skip over holidays when possible, I didn't look forward to them, in fear of "what if they forget" and also the bad memories I have of tragedies occurring on them.... I don't dread as many anymore, because I know that my husband will try with everything he has in him to make it a good day for me, he does it every year with my birthday ( which I am convinced is cursed) Valentines day, Christmas, new years... every day in my life attached with a sad memory he tries every year to turn it good.... it is the sweetest, and most loving thing i have ever witnessed!

I just had to praise him for this, because slowly but surely he is changeling things for me, he makes me feel better and better every year, and I love him for it!

Mommy Business

In the spirit of today, one Very special day of the year where us mothers get recognized for the super hero's we are I want to talk about something very important!

My mother!

My mother was amazing, she was smart, and talented, fun and silly... she was a hard a$$ but I think almost all moms are! She was the right combo of scary and lovable!

She was also taken from me almost 10 years ago!

My mother passed away in Oct 2001 from cervical cancer, its been a tough 10 years, it never does get better, it gets a little easier, but never better! there is always something she "should be here to see or do"

Proms, diploma's, Weddings, babies ,disasters or tragedies that only a mom knows how to help you with..... life goes on and there is no rewind button!

The reason I am telling you this is because in the past 10 years I have gone through many phases in my life, when she first died I wanted to memorialize her on my back with a tattoo, foolish considering the woman despise tattoo's so I was left to pick another memorial. Then I began to think Maybe If I donate to various causes in her memory it would somehow sustain a memorial of some sort, not what i had in mind not big enough for me!

Years later I decided that if I ever had a daughter she would be named after her, which I did do, A-bunny's middle name is Kathleen after my mother.... but again It isn't hitting the note I want it to!

On to the point!

In the past few years I have been talking to my husband about my plans for this issue I have, explaining I wanted to do something bigger and better in her name!

Also in the past 10 years, there have not been many medical breakthroughs in cancer research, for treatment, or for prevention, almost all the options are the same!

A few new types of chemo but that's about it! there have been tremendous breakthroughs in surgery, and in pharmaceuticals, but the cancer treatment end of things is a little less productive. Its a hard disease to crack!

I walk relay for life every year, and I make gift donations to hospitals but its not enough!

What I have come up with and am in the process of building is "The Kathleen F. Marks Memorial Foundation" 

I am putting together my mission statement and going through my check lists for nonprofit organizations, I have been doing a lot more with it in the past 6 months then I have in the 3 years i have been talking about it.

My goal is to get it up and operational by the 10th anniversary of my mothers death.... weather that is going to happen who knows, but it is my goal!

I have got a lot of fantastic idea's and strategies to get the foundation started up with a bang, but who knows if I will be able to execute them in the next 5 months! I'm ambitious, and I have tunnel vision, but there's a lot of papers to be filed and i am first and most importantly a mommy, and A-bunny is my #1 priority!

anyway, To celebrate mothers day I thought I would share my big plans for my moms memory Today!

Happy mothers day! ;) 

No Sick Days

In the past if I were sick at all, I would simply pick up the phone, call my manager and say "I wont be in today" and roll back over and sleep till I felt better, or got hungry whichever came first!

When your job description includes caregiver, housekeeper, cook and entertainer.... you do not have that luxury! You see, because no matter how awful I am feeling, at 7 am everyday, A-bunny will wake up, and expect mommy to change her diaper, give her milk & her breakfast, play with her, read to her, give her snack & snuggle her before her morning nap.... then the afternoon she will wake up and expect another diaper, lunch, playtime inside or outside, more reading dinner, bath time and so on!

and unfortunately for me ( fortunate for my husband) I always seem to get sick while he is working night shift! so I am doing ALL of it all by my lonesome!

She is usually the one who gets me sick also, so this particular time she is just starting to feel better, still with plenty of boogers & complaining though! cant get frustrated with it, I now know exactly how she's been feeling!

so even though I have a fever & chills, my nose is closed up and no matter how hard or often I blow it wont clear, that my throat feels like it is on fire & my chest is tight..... There is no sick day for me! To top of all this, household chores must still be handled! laundry cant keep piling up, cant have the sink overflow with dishes, and surfaces must be cleaned and sanitized to avoid spreading more germs! floors much be vacuumed and meals must be cooked!

I know it will pass in a couple of days, and anything I cant do I will catch up on when I feel better, but with my luck I'll be spending my mothers day after soccer at home cleaning! 

I love my new job, but sometimes I wish I still had 1 or 2 of the perks from my old one!

Casper's Twin

Since I was a very small child I have been a sun worshiper! I love summer, I love being tan and I don't care what people think about it! When I was a teen my summer jobs consisted of swim instructor & lifeguard... or camp swim team coach.

Needless to say I picked a summer job that would keep me in the sun as much as possible. I have always had great skin for tanning also, I get a beautiful golden bronze color to my skin, very sun kissed and sexy! To be safer though and avoid severe burns I developed a routine for myself before work every summer, and I continued it into adulthood.

Starting the end of Feb or early March I would start going to the tanning salon 1-2 times a week, not a crazy fake baker going every single day and turning orange, but enough to start conditioning my skin for the sun and developing a "base tan" I would continue this for 6-8 weeks until I had a consistent light gold color to me before I hit the real rays! This was to avoid the first day of real sun scorching burn!

Every year it worked like a charm, If I did burn my first day out in the real sun, it was insignificant and would fade within a day or 2.

the purpose for this little explanation is simple, I did not do that this year! In fact the last time was golden and sun kissed was the summer of 2009, our 1st anniversary trip to Jamaica.... the reason for that is that following month in Aug I found out I was pregnant. The summer was just about done when I found out, and I was pregnant for the 2010 base tan season ( your not allowed to fake bake while pregnant) and the summer of 2010 I had a newborn that I could not have out in the sun ( therefore I was pasty not sexy last summer) I literally got 2 hours by myself on the beach last summer to get a little color, that was it. This years fake bake season just didn't happen due 2 lack of funds and time!

So my skin has not been tan in 2 years, literally pasty pale ( which I have never in my life been, I always have at least a little gold even as a child)

WELL, Sunday at soccer practice it was beautiful out, sunny and 70 degrees, felt like heaven! the entire 2 hours I was there I felt fantastic, until the very end of practice when I realized "oh crap I only have sunscreen on my face and neck from my moisturizer" Normally this would not matter so much, on normal years I would of had a base tan, and may have gotten a little rosy on the chest and tops of my shoulders which would have faded within 2 days or less...... I have no base at all, and no sunscreen on skin that has not seen sun in 2 years is not a nice sight! ( meanwhile the little bit of 15 spf that is in my moisturizer kept my face and neck nice and protected and I now have a nice pretty gold tone going on my face shows you how pasty the rest of me is!)

Can I just tell you my wrists, tops of my shoulders and chest look like a fire engine! and the reason I use that association is simple.... I feel like I am on fire! even when I was a lifeguard and out in the sun for 8 hours I never felt sensitivity like this! it is so tight and tender!

I will definitely be returning to my controversial  routine next year, and even some of this year, because this incident as educational as it was, has now left me with a beater tank tan line  and knowledge that I was pretty genius with my sun conditioning  in previous years! Oh and also I will be buying sun block to carry in my purse as well as in the diaper bag!! :)

I also feel very lucky I didn't wear shorts to practice this week! The little sun I did get last summer did not include my legs! They are pretty much translucent at this point and you could call me Casper's twin!

SUPER KIKI

I was a comic book kid, I loved reading my comics,There was a comic book store 1/4 mile from my house and I would walk there with my mom or my sister(s) and buy trading cards & comics, I watched superhero cartoons like x-men and Spiderman on Saturday morning, and the old old school batman was my show, I watched it everyday, I could have been outside playing with all the kids in the neighborhood, 4:30 rolled around my mom would yell out the front door and I was in for the next 30 min to watch batman *BAM* *POW*! This week was the first "problem" that came of this.

let me explain the events that lead up to this issue.................

Before I became a mom, I was an Aunt.... And I LOVE being an aunt! My nephew is quite possibly my favorite boy in the world, and he is well aware of it. He has his KiKi wrapped around his little finger and has for 4 full years! Well today was his birthday party, he turned 4 Wed. of this past week and we celebrated today.

During the planning of this event Lipshun asked me "what do you want to make for the party" I replied "I don't care what would you like me to make" and in reply she stated "I don't know" 

so to avoid the conversation going on in circles I stated "Ask My Favorite boy what he wants KiKi to make" This would be where things went south!

He then said "super hero cookies"

Sounded reasonable, I am a good artist and I'm good with icing, should be no problem! WELL I was mistaken, 1st problem would be the timing! Big boy was on day shift most of the week, so I had no relief with A-bunny to bang out 3 dozen cookies! that was the big one! so a project that should have taken 4 or 5 hours wound up taking 12 due to breaking for "reading" or "playing" lunch, dinner, diapers, naps and all that comes with A-bunny! 

Problem #2 royal icing is a huge pain in the butt compared to butter cream or thicker decorators icings. It is runny and unruly and harder to work detail with!

I am a perfectionist, I like what I do to be perfect, and let me just tell you I was having some major issues with Batman!!!

Once my favorite childhood hero, now my Nemesis! It is almost impossible to make jet black royal icing, almost always comes out gray, so I used decorators icing store bought from a tube ( not proud of this but I was on a time crunch!) because I KNEW it would be jet black...... the consistency of this icing is much thicker, and much more defined, you don't get the pretty sheen and smoothness from the royal. So BATMAN my arch enemy was just not measuring up to my standards, no matter what I did, I was not happy with his cookie, so I decided there shall only be 5! Now of course that isn't the only issue! The coolest cookie, My star design, the one I drew up the minute after  Lipshun told me what he wanted was the most labor intensive! it was Spiderman face, web and all! the thing looked so cool and when I tested it looked even cooler, problem is it took twice as long to do as superman and batman combined! ( Superman was not unruly, he gets a pass on this particular issue!)

All in all My favorite boy liked his hero cookies and I got them done and everyone else seemed to like them, so it was a success. As much as I complain, I was very happy with my end result and I would def do it again ( just so long as big boy is home to occupy A-bunny!)..... 

HOWEVER Batman and I will be revisiting this issue "You can't win anyway... You see, I hold the winning card!" 

Mommy Milestone

As I have stated before I have a whole host of quirks in my personality! Lots of OCD and neurosis! One of which I developed as a teenager! When I was 15 years old due to PTSD I developed a panic disorder.( it was 6 months after my grandfather passed away and my mother had her BIG surgery for her cancer) When I was younger it was terrible! I could hardly drive as a passenger in a car without having an attach, large social situations I felt uncomfortable and began to panic, and slowly through the course of 2 years became a shut in. (this was largely due to traumatic event continuing to happen during this time, mom got re-diagnosed & hospitalized a few times, a couple of car accidents, my good friends father died in 9/11, my mom passed away, my boyfriend at the time step father passed away LOTS of trauma) I wound up leaving HS for my GED, then leaving my post HS job because of it ( couldn't drive myself 3 miles down the street to work on a rainy morning had to have my father pick me up on the side of the road because I couldn't breath).

I would hardly leave my house to do anything for nearly 6 months! 

Finally one night my Lipshun ( big sister) made me get up and drive myself down to the gas station, yelling at me that if I wanted something I needed to get out of the house and stop being so scared of everything! That was the start of me coming back to society!

I still have flair ups from time to time, but NOTHING like when I was younger, I have learned to manage it without medication and with lots of hard work on my part!

However there are still things I "freak out" about doing, such as driving on major highways, or driving in the snow, and entering a party or restaurant alone( can do without issue if someone I am meeting is inside already), or being out at a restaurant or party alone.

That said, I hit my own milestone this weekend! I was very stressed from the past few weeks, with the birthday party, A-bunny has been in rare form, lots of complaining & tantrums just an all together foul mood on her part (she got a tooth Monday morning)

Thursday night was my breaking point, A-bunny went to bed at 9pm like usual, and  I stayed up to do dishes & unwind.... I went to bed around 12:30, by 1am she was screaming in her room. I got up and tried to calm her down in the bed and it was not happening, so I put her in bed with me, she then began to toss and turn and beat the poop out of me! so we went back into her room...... 3 hours later @ 4am she finally fell back to sleep & I was able to get to bed finally at 4:30. And then was up at 7:30 am! so we had a no sleep night, and then following suit with her foul mood, she had a no nap day! the child refused to nap all day long! finally at about 3pm my husband ordered me off to take a nap and said "you are going out tonight you need to sleep then get out of the house without her for a while"

so I listened, because at this point I was being so cranky and snippy I couldn't even stand me! I napped from 3:30 till 7pm and went to do some shopping..... by the time I was finished I was famished & really wanting to treat myself to a margarita, and since you cant take out a margarita, I sucked up my fear and headed to a Mexican restaurant on the way back home! It was wonderful to be out on my own, relaxing and exciting that I did not have an attach!

you will be proud to hear I did not have a panic attach, I was able to sit, eat my dinner & drink my single margarita all by my lonesome with no issues at all! I was so proud of myself I had to write about it!

now we just have to work on the major highway driving and snow driving and I could be cured of the wretched handicap I have!